


saving seven

by imtuanshook



Category: GOT7
Genre: Anxiety, Bullying, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mark Centric, Mental Health Issues, Suicide, Suicide Attempts, implied jjp, mark tuan centric, mentioned jjp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 23:14:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15617136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imtuanshook/pseuds/imtuanshook
Summary: everyday mark goes to the roof to jump, although someone is always there before him.





	saving seven

_**saving one** _

 

marks shoes jostled across the metal staircase as he dashed up it towards the roof top, tears ran down his cheeks. finally reaching the top and creaking open the metallic door, slipping through a mere crack in the door. he gazed out towards the sky, up at the scarves of clouds that painted the skies, triumphant shapes of the city buildings lining them. the sombre grey sky saved by the band of salmon pink that hovered over the busy city. dusky grey peaks giving edge to the buildings, where as the clouds soothed them with charcoal winds.

just before mark can slip off his shoes, he spots a dark haired boy standing before him upon the other side of the railing. he boys shoes already having been removed and placed next to him, his dark, tousled brown hair waving with the sharp winds. mark gulped inwardly, attempting to tell himself that he just couldn't care less either way. yet despite himself, despite his self-destructive thoughts he goes and screams.

_"hey, don't do it, please"_

the boy jerked his head back, sobs wrecking his body as tears streamed his crimson flushed cheeks. mark took a moment to recollect himself, the words having just forced themselves to slip from his lips. despite that, still rushing over towards the railing where the boy stood on the other edge. the boy trudges back a bit, nearly slipping off the edge if not for mark quickly gripping the back of his uniform t-shirt and whipping him back against the railing.

the boy widens his eyes as he turns to face mark, mark catching a glimpse of his school name tag clipped to his shirt. reading 'park jinyoung' across it. jinyoung's red-rimmed teary eyes stared back at mark, glassy eyes widened. watery streaks streaming down his rather porcelain complexion. the two stood their, silence becoming their solace as they stared back at each other, marks fingertips still curled into a fist upon jinyoung's shirt sleeve.

jinyoung makes the first move, furiously rubbing his cheeks, ridding himself of the tears although leaving behind a blotchy, molted crimson to consume his cheeks. his entire face washed with a dull red, including just the very tip of his nose. mark stares for a moment, gulping visibly as the boy takes a step back to lean against the railing. "whats wrong?" mark asks softly.

the boy chuckles a bit, tears swelling in the corners of his hickory-mahogany orbs. "what isn't wrong?" he sorrowfully chuckles, "i thought he was the one, you know? that we would get married, adopt kids, we would be happy together" he spoke with such a tone that mark could almost feel the rawness to his sorrow. "but then he told me he was _done_ " jinyoung says, bringing his gaze back towards the edge of the rooftop. 

mark grabs the tip of his fingers, tugging him back a bit to assure he was safe. "i love him" jinyoung says, choking out a sob. the boy practically wore his heart on his sleeve, making his emotions much easier for mark to understand. "without him..without him i'm just.. _me_ " he says, dropping beneath his own weight to his feet, taking seat on the edge of the building.

mark takes seat on the other side of the railing, back to back with jinyoung. "to be loved, it only strengthens our torment" mark says softly, "in our struggles, our struggles to be loved, our struggles for what we crave and desire. there will always be the compulsion for what we admire" he says. jinyoung letting out a shaky exhale against his breathed pause. 

"and somehow within that compulsion, we forget to love ourselves" mark says, turning to face jinyoung who was already sat staring at him. "within that compulsion, we desire to be something better, better so that our desires might crave us back" the boy nodes slowly, tears no longer streaming his cheeks. "so maybe, its not that you're just you. maybe its that along the way in your desire for love, you forgot how truly wonderful you are" 

"you're just you, but you are beautiful" mark says with a small smile curling his life. "and there is so much more for you, then this" with each of marks words, jinyoungs mind became more clear, more resolute. jinyoung shakily takes to his feet, gripping onto the railing and stepping over it and taking stance next to the mark on the other side. stepping over as if he had become emotional chasm.

straying from his once destructive thoughts. the nascent sunlight that peaked through the scarves of clouds painted in the sky caressed jinyoungs pale complexion as he stood up. as if it was the promising of a new dawn. "you're right" jinyoung speaks softly, entombing the beautiful memories of the boy he once loved. "love yourself" mark giggles, bringing his sweater sleeve to wipe the tears gently from jinyoung's cheek. 

"thank you for listening" jinyoung whispers, his heavy footsteps crossing the rooftop and slipping back through the metallic door. 

_the dark haired boy named jinyoung, glances back one last time at mark with a smile curling his lips, then disappears down the stairwell._

 

_**saving two** _

 

today is the day, or so mark thought. he slowly opens the metallic door, breathing heavily as he takes to the rooftop.  just as he was about to slip his shoes off, there he sees a boy, tall as could be. despite marks own rather crippling thoughts, he dashes towards the railing and screams.

_"hey, don't do it, please"_

the tall boy flinches as he turns around, staring at mark with widened eyes. the boy still dressed in his presumed work uniform, mark catching a glimpse of his name tag that read 'kim yugyeom' across it. his gaze shifts from either side of marks face, his dark lashes brimmed with heavy tears. his lip quivers, biting into his chapped lower lip as mark pants heavily. 

"w-whats wrong?" mark says, attempting to regain his composure and stepping tentatively forth towards the boy. the boy chuckles, turning back around to face the edge of the building. "you've probably heard it all before" he whispers, his body engulfed by tremors. shaking violently as his finally allows the words to escape him, "i'm just not like any of them, you know?" 

"everyone is so _beautiful,_ so _talented_ , and i'm just, i'm just _me_.." yugyeom says, admitting his woes. "and?" mark chuckles, a puzzled look gracing the tall boys angelic features. "who told you that you're not beautiful, that you're not talented?" mark asks, tilting his head to the side a bit. "them" yugyeom whispers, raising his fingertip and pointing towards the school courtyard. 

"them?" mark says softly, leaning over towards the trembling boy. he nods, stuttering out a sob as he does so. "do you hate yourself?" mark asks, the boy turning to mark once again with widened eyes. yugyeom ponders on the thought momentarily before nodding slowly. mark places one hand on yugyeoms back, soothingly rubbing circles alongside it before he speaks. 

"why?" mark asks, to which yugyeom simply shrugs. "you will _never_ learn to love yourself, if you set impossible standards for yourself" mark begins. "we as humans train our eyes to find the flaws within ourselves, whilst finding the beauty in others" marks fingertips gently caressing yugyeoms back. "maybe its not that you're not beautiful, or that its not talented"

"maybe its that you're to hard on yourself" mark whispers. "because its not that your to tall, that your to skinny, that your to ugly, that your talent-less, its not that your to quiet, or to loud, its not that you're to much of you" mark giggles a bit. "because you are not weak, you are not talent-less, you are not ugly, you are not loud, you are not to much to deal with, you are not any of the horrible things you say about yourself" 

"if anything" mark smiles gently. "if anything, well you're to beautiful" he giggles, yugyeom turning to face him. mark gently wipes the last tear that was streaming yugyeoms cheeks, smiling as he does so. "i promise you, one day you're gonna find someone who loves each and everything that you hate about yourself" mark says, extending his hand towards yugyeoms. 

yugyeom gently laces their fingertips together, nodding and stepping over the railing to safety with marks assistance. "maybe you're right" yugyeom whispers, mark squeezing his hand in reassurance just before releasing it. yugyeom smiles back at mark one last time before his light footsteps patter across the rooftop, making his way through the metallic door.

_the tall boy named yugyeom, then disappeared down the stairwell._

 

_**saving three** _

 

mark runs up the stairwell, tears streaming he cheeks and stuttering out sobs. destructive thought after thought raced through his mind as if they were a carousel of his each and individual fears. panting as he made finally made his way towards the rooftop, eyes widening once he spotted a short boy stood dangerously close to the edge, just about to step off of it. 

"hey, don't do it, please" 

mark screams, using every ounce of his energy to run towards the boy. the boy doesn't even flinch, nor turn around when he hears mark. mark leans over the railing, wrapping both arms around the boy and hugging him tightly. "whats wrong?" mark whispers, glancing over at the boys discarded cardigan threw next to him. his school name tag reading ' _choi youngjae_ ' across it. 

the coldness of the slate tile and dampness already having soaked the boys polyester trousers. shivering in the cool october chill before marks fingertips gently grazed his wrist. youngjae winces as marks fingertips trace across the fresh cuts lathering his wrists, mark widening his eyes before hugging him even tighter. dense clouds above robbed the pair of sunlight, the city below conceived of a grid pattern as the rather short boy gazed out at the school yard.

youngjae lets out a soft whimper, raising his own fingertips to graze the fresh cuts that lay across his wrists. his sleeves rolled up to expose them, allowing the crisp october chill to graze them with each gust of the sharp winds. "these scars you see" youngjae begins, mark nuzzling his face into the boys neck in a small attempt to soothe him. "they were all crafted by me" 

"everyone, every fucking one around me tells me i've succumb to this madness" youngjae breaths heavily, having even forgotten what his skin looked like pure. "but god honestly" he whispers, "i think i'm just cloaked in sadness". mark rests his head against youngjaes shoulder, listening to the shallow breaths he takes. "do you ever look back on your life, and think about how it could all seemingly be ended by something as simple as a rope or a knife?" youngjae asks, choking out his first sob.

"i've stopped looking before i cross the street, because everything here just seems so dead to me" he continues, although soon being cut off by mark. "if we never wither, we'll never grow" mark says softly, resting his head back against youngjaes broad shoulder. "and if we never try, then we'll never really know" mark continues. "you didn't know it them, but you chose at life, despite everything being ended easily by a rope or a knife, you still chose life" 

"maybe you can't see it now, but god you are so strong" mark breaths, hearing youngjae shakily exhaling before the short boy nods. mark unravels his arms from around youngjae, gently turning youngjae around to face him. "so, so strong" mark whispers, holding one hand out for youngjae to take. 

youngjae seems hesitant at first, gazing back at the school yard then back at mark before nodding. gently taking marks hand, allowing mark to guide him to step over to the railing and to the side of safety next to mark. "don't hurt yourself" mark whispers, youngjae now stood next to him smiling. 

"thank you" youngjae whispers back, unraveling his fingertips from marks and pattering his footsteps across the rooftop. gazing down at his wrists as he walks, having every intention of seeing them pure and uncut. 

_the rather short boy, named youngjae with the scars lathering his wrists, then disappeared through the metallic door and down the stairwell._

 

_**saving four** _

__

mark sighed heavily as his timid footsteps made their way up the stairwell. running his fingertips through his hair and creaking open the large metallic door. truthfully for some reason he just couldn't believe, that people kept getting here before him. he spots a man dressed in a crisp suit sat on the edge of the building, mark gulps and attempts to tell himself that he couldn't care less either way. despite that, he darts forth and screams

"hey, don't do it, please" 

the man sat on the edge, dressed in his crisp suit turns his head back towards mark. marks footsteps taking him to the railing, leaning over the edge with a worried look gracing his angelic features. the mans suit case, once in hand, now lazily tossed off to the side. 'im jaebum' read across the airport like tag attached to the handle. 

mark blinks his attention down towards the man sat on the opposite side of the railing. "whats wrong?" he breaths softly, worry pervading his gentle tone. jaebum visibly bites into his lower lip, pondering on the question momentarily. "i'm so stupid" jaebum finally murmurs softly. 

"i left _him_ , i fucking left _him_ " and jaebum felt as if the oceans had drawn back, and crashed all at once. tears welling in his eyes as he attempted to speak, "i just told him i was _done_ , whats wrong with me?" jaebum says, burying his face into his palms. visibly gripping onto the slicked back strands of his hair, sobbing unceasingly into his palms.

"i loved him, i still love him" jaebum hiccups through his sobs. "but hes happy now, he doesn't need me anymore.." to which mark couldn't help but chuckle. jaebum furrowing his eyebrows together in his confusion, gazing up at mark. "are you sure about that?" mark says softly.

"people are strange" mark begins. "they act tough on the outside, they act like their okay for the sake of those around them" he continues, jaebum sat staring back at him. "like you" mark whispers, causing jaebum to tilt his head to the side a bit. 

"you seem successful, and im sure you seem happy to those around you, yet here you are" mark whispers, just loud enough for jaebum to hear faintly. "sat on the ledge, pondering on whether he still loves you or not" to which jaebum instantly gulps. 

"how do you know, that _he_ didn't do the same?" jaebums eyes widen at the statement. "how do you know, that hes not sat, pondering on whether you still love him or not?" mark says, extending his hand down for jaebum to take. jaebum does so almost instantly, gripping marks hand, alongside his suitcase and taking to his feet. practically jumping onto the other side of the railing to safety.

"go to him" mark whispers, releasing jaebums hand the second that hes stood next to him. "thank you" jaebum whispers back, quickly darting towards the large metallic door. 

_the boy named jaebum, dressed in the crisp suit gazes back at mark with a hopeful smile dashed across his lips, and then disappears down the stairwell._

 

_**saving five** _

 

mark practically runs up the stairs, panting heavily as he flings open the large metallic door. widening his eyes when he noticed a thin boy stood on the edge, stood gazing at the busy city beneath him. his shirt thrown to the side, a large butterfly tattoo lay across his shoulder. a smile curling the boys lips at the thought of jumping, feeling nearly weightless as he took a tentative step forward off the edge. 

"hey, don't do it, please" 

mark screams behind him, frozen in place as he watched the boy nearly jump off the ledge. the boy jerks his head back in marks direction, an incredulous look gracing his features. mark bites into his cheek before taking a few steps forward, slowly making his way over towards the boy. "who are you?" the boy with the butterfly tattoo asks, tilting his head to the side a bit. 

"my names mark" mark giggles softly, his giggle somehow fluttering the boys desolate heart. "whats your name?" mark asks, leaning over the railing next to the boy. "bam bam" the boy murmurs. "well" mark says, crunching into his lower lip a bit. "whats wrong?" mark asks, curling his fingertips around the railing. 

"i.." bambam begins, chuckling a bit sorrowfully. "i..don't know.." he admits, almost fearful of marks reaction. mark simply smiles at him, bambams words falling onto understanding ears. "thats okay" mark whispers, "how do you feel right now?" he asks. 

"nothing" bambam whispers, "i feel nothing, i don't know why i'm here, what i'm living for" he says, visibly gulping. mark blinks his attention up at bambam, then returning his gaze to the triumphant sky ahead of them. "live for the little things" mark whispers softly, almost to softly for bambam to hear. 

"live for the sunrises, and then the sunsets, live to see colours in the sky that you would never think of seeing there, live for the small or long road trips, live for bike rides. live for the days you'll hear your favorite song ring in your ears, the days the wind will gust through your hair, live for the days your surrounded by people who love you, live for the people who will one day make you realize, that maybe the world isn't such a bad place after all."

"i know its hard right now" mark whispers softly. "and i know that maybe life feels like some wicked game of survival. like you're living each day to the next, not knowing why" he says, bambam now stood staring at him. mark giggles faintly, bringing his sweater sleeve to wipe the last tear running down bambams cheek. "but maybe, just maybe thats what life is all about, y'know?" 

"don't think of it as living each day to day, think of it as a new adventure, not knowing what life entails" the boy nods slowly. marks fingertips gently caressing his cheek before withdrawing themselves. bambam smiles back at him, gripping the railing and stepping over it. joining mark on the safety of the other side. "thank you" bambam whispers. a small smile curling his lips as his footsteps patter across the rooftop. 

_the boy named bambam, with the butterfly tattoo gazes back at mark smiling, and then disappears._

 

_**saving six** _

 

and just like that, their had been someone nearly everyday of the week. mark listened to their woes, he made their turn away. yet some piece inside him knew, that the truth  was inevitable and no one would ever do the same for him. that their was no way he would ever be able to let out all his pain. the bruises that lather his tiny frame were ever growing, worsening day by day. 

his thoughts plagued him, haunting him with each step up the stairs he took. to his classmates he was a rather shy boy, whom opted never to talk much around anyone. to the few friends he had, he was a patient person with always something rather insightful to say. and to his one and only best friend, he was the entire world and so much more. adored by nearly everyone he had spoken to. 

yet to his parents? he was a failure, completely and utterly worthless. he choked out a sob, quickening his pace as he ran up the stairs. flinging open the metallic door, freezing in place in the doorway once he noticed a figure stood near the edge of the building. and for the very first time there mark sees, someone with the same pains as him. 

the boy wore a muscle top, exposing the bruises that lathered his muscular chest. his lip busted, and a prominent purple welt lay across his cheek. the boy hears mark slam open the door, turning his head back to face mark. his fingertips curled around the railing, a small smile gracing his features as he notices mark. 

marks eyes widened, barely able to make out the name 'jackson wang' read across the name tag clipped to the boys muscle top. the sharp winds tousling jacksons silver like hair as it blew harshly. 

"i just wanna stop the scars that grow, every time that i go home" the boy whispers, just faint enough for mark to hear. "that's why i've come up here instead" thats what the boy in the muscle top said. mark gulps as jackson gazes back towards the busy city ahead of him. mark studies jacksons visible features, bruises lather him inch to inch, having to suffered at the hands of his parents. 

mark stood frozen in place, unable to believe what the boy had just said. shakily exhaling as his breath picked up, he couldn't stop this boy, he didn't have the right. knowing he wanted to jump for the exact same reason as the figure stood ahead of him. mark stood in the doorway, every fiber of his being trembling as he stood at the figure stood on the dangerous side of the railing. 

he hears jackson chuckle faintly, watching as he takes a tentative step forward closer to the edge. mark knew he didn't have a single reason to stop the boy, yet in the moment he just screamed, something even he couldn't believe. 

_"hey..don't do it..please"_

as much as he had attempted to hold it in, in came out like an uproar, a silent scream in his throat. mark watched as the boy turned to face him, finger tips clutching onto the railing. the most pitiful expression lay across his face, almost to much for mark to bare. mark panted heavily, still comprehending the words that had just escaped him. 

 

 tears swell in marks eyes, beginning to run down his cheeks as he falls to his knees. "please, don't do it, p-please" mark repeats, almost as if hes telling _himself_. jackson stares back at mark, watching mark erupt into sobs and pleads for him not to sob. 

jackson sighs softly, gazing out to the edge of the building one last time before bringing his gaze back to mark. "maybe today's just not my day" jackson says softly, bringing both hands to the railing and stepping over to the side of safety. his heavy footsteps pattering across the roof top, mark sniffling lightly as the boy now stood ahead of him. 

_the boy in the muscle top, lathered in bruises named jackson, gazed back at mark and then disappeared down the stairwell._

 

_**saving seven** _

 

mark furiously rubs his cheeks, ridding himself of the tears that stream them. heavy footsteps rushing up the stairwell, pace growing with each step he took. every fiber of his bruise ridden body trembled, whimpering with each small movement he took towards the rooftop. finally reaching the top and creaking open the metallic door, slipping through a small crack in it. 

a small smile curling his lips, gazing around to see not a singular soul in sight. "there's no one here today, i guess its time" mark whispers to himself, slipping off his shoes and lazily tossing them to the side. timid footsteps pattering across the rooftop, taking one leg over the railing and then the next. tilting his head to the side a bit, sharp winds barreling through his strawberry blonde locks. 

gazing down at the busy city beneath him, only his soft cries resonating the surrounding silence. there's no one to interfere, no one to get in marks way here. his breath steadying as he took tentative steps forward closer to the edge. 

this abused boy, sweet as could be, is gonna jump now and finally be free. taking another step forward, until his toes curled around the edge of the building, slowly removing his hands from the safety of the railing. fluttering his dark lashes shut, taking one finally step off the edge of the building. 

feeling almost weightless as he fell forward, nearly falling off the edge if not for the gentle hand grabbing his wrist and pulling him back. tears streaming his cheeks as he darts his head back with widened eyes, the figure still held onto his wrist tightly with a smile curling their lips. 

_"_

 

_hey" jackson whispers, "don't do it, please"_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> if you or someone you know is struggling, please call the suicide hotline at;  
> 1-800-273-8255
> 
> \---
> 
> to write this one-shot was something i wanted to do for a long time, nearly almost a year. i was first inspired by a song i heard called 'my r' when i was at a rather sad portion of my life. to write this i truthfully took all of the reasons that i wanted to die, and used them for my characters. and then used marks advice, as things i told myself to get through those trials. 
> 
> i hope you all live happy, healthy lives. and remember that life, is always worth living <3


End file.
